Creating. This pretty much sums up all the things I love – drawing, painting, scrapbooking, sewing, writing, daydreaming, even taking pictures. These are my biggest outlets and stress-relievers. I also love to put myself into a project and be able to say “I created that” when it’s complete. But that’s not it. It’s really the process that is the most important. When I was in undergrad I took an expressive therapies class and an art therapy class with the same instructor and she was always reminding us it is the process, not the product, that makes the difference.
I think about that a lot as I am creating. It makes me feel good, calmer, refreshed, and in the end, accomplished.
Many times I create because there is a void where I think I need something. For example, a few years ago I was planning a trip with Reenie to Disney and I was looking for a small bag that could hold just my phone and maybe my ID and credit cards so I wouldn’t have to carry a lot in the parks. I was willing to buy something but I searched and searched and could not find anything like what I had envisioned. The closest I came was a post about how to make a case for your phone. I took that and adapted it to create a small phone purse. This was the first of many to come. It was the crudest and hand sewn and took me hours to complete two (one for each of us) but it was the best way to spend my evening and I loved the outcome. It was perfect for park use.
To be honest, I was used to Six Flags where you cannot take anything on the rides and my idea was to create something that could be worn both cross-body and around your neck like a lanyard. The two clips were able to change the length and I was so proud. Of course, at Disney it doesn’t really matter because they have spots on all their rides to hold bags. Even so, carrying this around made things much easier on my and made my phone more easily accessible for pictures and such.
But I digress. My point is that I saw something that could be really very useful and I created it myself. This was an accomplishment that I am very proud of. I have since started adapting these bags into something I feel is better. I now own and know how to operate a sewing machine, something I didn’t know or have two years ago (or even four months ago, really). I also have a better understanding of what I want to accomplish and how the process feels – which is also scary.
I aim to open my own store selling these bags and I am terrified. I’m worried others may see these and think negatively about them. But I am writing this post more for me. I need to remember how the process makes me feel and when I pour myself into this work I might be able to bring happiness to others. I’m just starting out so I don’t expect much but the closer we get to opening the shop, the more anxious I am becoming.
I recently did a giveaway on my Instagram and had a few responses. I feel better about that – some people do seem excited about this – but it is also terrifying putting myself out there like that and feeling so vulnerable. Blogging is different. I have come to expect that people don’t actually read my blog, with the exception of one or two friends, and I feel like I’m writing more for me than for anyone else. This shop is going to be on Etsy, on my public Instagram account, and probably on my private Instagram account as well which actually scares me the most. The people who follow my private account are all people who know me personally and can judge me more than the people who don’t really know me – that is to say, their opinions matter more. Putting my creativity out there is like showing my true self and hoping I’m still accepted and loved. I guess I’m over-reacting but this seemed like a good place to confess my fears and whatever else I am feeling about this. I can’t wait to rip off the band-aid, so to speak.
Ahh, gotta love the random tangents of a good blog post 😉